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Category Archives: Bragging Rights

Notice my clever use of homophones.  This is the epitome of true genius.


A trip to visit my aunt in Michigan brought into my possession a bird clock.  Walking through the clock section of a store, I saw it, and my father’s interest in its uniqueness along with my passion for birds convinced him to open the wallet and swipe the card.  The clock is birdish, in that at each of the twelve spots where a number would be, is an illustration of a friendly songbird.  On each hour, the bird chosen by the hour hand sings his song.  It  is a magical experience, and though others warn me that its novelty with fade away into annoyingness, I cannot see that in my future.

My parents decided, after a frantic search to find the hole puncher so that I could organize my biology notebook, that the phonebooks needed a thinning of the herd.  That is what I did today.  Sit on the edge of your seats in anticipation!  I have done the unthinkable!  I have burned no less than FIVE phonebooks!

They were of various sizes.  I scattered them on our burn pile, and lit one, the one that burned so diligently, it left not even a spine to be nailed.  Likewise, another performed, but the others were stubborn.  I have chunks of pages from two, and one with a spine still intact, with some pages still yellow.  This one will suffer a similar fate as the previous–nailing to the tree.  Speaking of which, the other has fallen and must be reattached.

In a way, I have succeeded in burning the alphabet, now six times.  Sesame Street weeps.

I haven’t posted on my blog in so long I feel like I’ve died.  School has just overwhelmed me, and it’s sucked away opportunities to post on my blog, and it’s sucked away opportunities to do stuff worth posting about on my blog.  So, though I really only like to share my life when it’s something unique and exciting, I must get through this posting drought, and breaking that vow is acceptable in this case.

This weekend was an interesting one; I did more than I do on most weekends.  I started my Saturday by waking at 7:00 to go to an Academic Challenge tournament.  Our team came in second, to the Catholic school.  Then I went to the Lego store and bought the SUPERCAR.  The SUPERCAR is an amazing car.  It’s red.  It’s fun.  It’s super.  I also received the latest Pearls Before Swine treasury, Pearls Blows Up, in the mail, and I finished it on Sunday.  It was wonderful, all of it.

Tomorrow, MLK Day, though his efforts were noble and just, is probably just an excuse to get a break in between Christmas and Easter. (Presidents Day also is like this.)  I wish no disrespect for Dr. King, and this act occurs tomorrow solely on account of poor timing and procrastination–I will burn my seventh grade home ec project, a pillow, for which I received an 88 percent B+.  It will be fun, and not metaphoric in the least, with the possible exception of my bitterness toward my home ec class and the terrible memories associated with it.

Even a person as amazing as me must resolve some things.  This year I must burn more phonebooks.  I must stab more vegetables.  I must reach 500 comments.  I must conquer the world.  (Three out of four isn’t bad, though.)

I had my first snow day for this school year today.  This is a list of most of what I did (definitely not in chronological order).  As you can see, it was heavy with Mark.

I played 1.5 games of Scrabble against Mark and won all.  I kept score on Mark’s lazy and tolerant cat that was lying beside me.

I shoveled Mark’s driveway with his help.

Mark found that half of The Phonebook had frozen and broken off from the rest.  I’m really unsure of what to do with it now.

Mark and I froze 37¢ in ice.  My 37 cents.

I almost buried Mark in the snow.

I called my brother fat.

I ate pumpkin cheesecake.

I’ve played a lot of games this Thanksgiving Break.  I’ll continue to update this as I play more.

1 game of Scrabble

2 games of Super Scrabble

3 games of Peanuts Monopoly

1 game of Monopoly

4 rounds of Boggle

1 game of Risk

4 rounds of Dutch Blitz

Being so awesome, I’ve managed to win everything but the 2nd Peanuts Monopoly game, the Monopoly game, and, unfortunately, 3 out of the 4 Dutch Blitz games.

Happy Thanksgiving!