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My parents decided, after a frantic search to find the hole puncher so that I could organize my biology notebook, that the phonebooks needed a thinning of the herd.  That is what I did today.  Sit on the edge of your seats in anticipation!  I have done the unthinkable!  I have burned no less than FIVE phonebooks!

They were of various sizes.  I scattered them on our burn pile, and lit one, the one that burned so diligently, it left not even a spine to be nailed.  Likewise, another performed, but the others were stubborn.  I have chunks of pages from two, and one with a spine still intact, with some pages still yellow.  This one will suffer a similar fate as the previous–nailing to the tree.  Speaking of which, the other has fallen and must be reattached.

In a way, I have succeeded in burning the alphabet, now six times.  Sesame Street weeps.



  1. Too late. I fell off completely.

  2. Not my fault… Don’t sue me!

  3. I believe that is unnecessary.

  4. Relief. But I worry I might be sued for not updating this today.

  5. You should worry. Ma homies are united as a force to be reckoned with. (OOOOOOOOHHHHH. Now you can sue ME for that hanging preposition.)

  6. The law will arrest you for a hanging. I need not sue.

  7. A hanging? You’re in the middle of Dickens and that’s the most creativity involved in the matter?

  8. Yes.

  9. I live on Sesame Street.

    I think you should name them and create a Facebook page just for your phonebooks.

    • Sam, Facebook, I must literally roll on the floor and laugh at such a thought. XD

  10. Facebook=no.

  11. Samuel, your power to interpret blatant sarcasm is waning. You must go back into training in order to save the world.

  12. I didn’t know that any training existed for such thing, nor do I think it will help me save the world.

  13. I read back that statement and laugh at the unnatural singsongy tone. I’m a horrible person who makes horrible word choices.

    It was not literal.

  14. Perhaps you need some retraining in reading subtle irony and sarcasm…

  15. Touché! I now have learned to keep my place and shall go hiding with my tails between my legs. (I have thirteen)…then join my cat and the hobos in pre-exile. I’m not sure what they’re doing tonight. The Communist isn’t quite knighted yet.

    • “Touché” means to touch in french that is why it is use in the act of fencing because when you say that a point is given.

  16. Thirteen tails or thirteen legs? Thirteen total tails and legs? How many of each?
    Need for concision

  17. I’m a mystical gecko, so naturally I have thirteen tails and two legs… most of the time. Sometimes I have to check because I eat them (the tails) in my sleep. I’m sorry for the vagueness.

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