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Monthly Archives: March 2011

Grocery shopping with my mother is fun, mostly because I’m surrounded by food, but today was especially fun, thanks to some old guy.  He was standing in my mother’s way as she was pushing the cart.  When he became aware of this, he excused himself, and said to my mother, “You can hit me if you want.”

This was a shocking and hilarious thing to hear from him, but if that wasn’t enough, he pointed to his wife and said, “Whenever I get in her way, that’s what she does.”  He pointed to a bruise on his hand.  “You see what she did?  She’s so mean!”

He finished with this: “She’s so mean, I saw her pushing little ducks into the water!”  I assume that’s old-person-speak for “she cuts up puppies to eat”, or similar.

Likely the coolest old guy ever.


My parents decided, after a frantic search to find the hole puncher so that I could organize my biology notebook, that the phonebooks needed a thinning of the herd.  That is what I did today.  Sit on the edge of your seats in anticipation!  I have done the unthinkable!  I have burned no less than FIVE phonebooks!

They were of various sizes.  I scattered them on our burn pile, and lit one, the one that burned so diligently, it left not even a spine to be nailed.  Likewise, another performed, but the others were stubborn.  I have chunks of pages from two, and one with a spine still intact, with some pages still yellow.  This one will suffer a similar fate as the previous–nailing to the tree.  Speaking of which, the other has fallen and must be reattached.

In a way, I have succeeded in burning the alphabet, now six times.  Sesame Street weeps.

Recently I’ve played two games of Risk.  Risk takes forever, especially if you’re not the first one eliminated, like me.  It takes longer to be the winner, like me, twice.  I feel victorious, and much greater than Hitler or Kublai Khan, because I didn’t have to kill anyone, and I succeeded in taking over the entire world.

Winter is my favorite season.  That being said, it seems to be ending.  I grow sad inside at the thought that snow may not fall again for many months.  Granted, it’s only March, but the warm weather here in Ohio is discouraging.  Disappointment engulfs me.

I want to go burn something now.  I’m not sure what it will be, but it will be burned.  I might even laugh maniacally, and pretend that I’m conquering the real world, though that is far into the future.

I haven’t posted on my blog in so long I feel like I’ve died.  School has just overwhelmed me, and it’s sucked away opportunities to post on my blog, and it’s sucked away opportunities to do stuff worth posting about on my blog.  So, though I really only like to share my life when it’s something unique and exciting, I must get through this posting drought, and breaking that vow is acceptable in this case.

This weekend was an interesting one; I did more than I do on most weekends.  I started my Saturday by waking at 7:00 to go to an Academic Challenge tournament.  Our team came in second, to the Catholic school.  Then I went to the Lego store and bought the SUPERCAR.  The SUPERCAR is an amazing car.  It’s red.  It’s fun.  It’s super.  I also received the latest Pearls Before Swine treasury, Pearls Blows Up, in the mail, and I finished it on Sunday.  It was wonderful, all of it.