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Tomorrow, MLK Day, though his efforts were noble and just, is probably just an excuse to get a break in between Christmas and Easter. (Presidents Day also is like this.)  I wish no disrespect for Dr. King, and this act occurs tomorrow solely on account of poor timing and procrastination–I will burn my seventh grade home ec project, a pillow, for which I received an 88 percent B+.  It will be fun, and not metaphoric in the least, with the possible exception of my bitterness toward my home ec class and the terrible memories associated with it.

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42 Comments

  1. You keep stuff from seventh grade? NO WAY. I really want to know what the pillow looks like. Catching pillows on fire seems a little out of your league (smile)…

  2. I’m sure I am fully capable of it. And, I would have deleted your comment and replaced it with my own because it’s the 400th comment, but, it being the first comment on this post, I would feel weird ruining that to be the first to comment on my own post. So congratulations.

  3. NO WAY. Lezzgo. I’m sorry I had to take the glory away from you. Why don’t you just delete one of my old ones where I accidentally repeated myself?

  4. No. That would be wrong. But I, most certainly, am getting the 500, regardless. I successfully burned the pillow. I think it was mostly some synthetic plasticky material because is more melted than just straight up burned. But there were flames. Though there was black smoke. I might have killed a polar bear or 17 today.

  5. Wow. That’s deep stuff there… killing polar bears and everything. What did you burn it with? And where? I was hoping for an exact report and instead I get, “I might have killed a polar bear of 17 today.”

  6. I burned it with fire. I burned it near the edge of our brick fire-control ring. Fun stuff.

  7. Matches, lighter or blowtorch?

  8. Direct use of matches did not work, so I lit a bit of newspaper and set the pillow on it.

  9. You coulda gone all the way and used the FLAMETHROWER. That really isn’t practical though… I feel kind of biased though; in my methods of starting a fire, I didn’t mention the good ‘ole “rub two sticks together.” Man, but you’re SAM SWAIN.

  10. No tengo un flamethrowero. Lo siento.

  11. No kidding. Major bummer. Que lastima. I’d let you borrow mine, but the hobos sold it for weed. (I don’t know how to say that in Spanish.)

  12. According to Google Translator it’s “Te dejaría el mío prestado, pero los vagabundos que se vendió por la maleza.”

  13. And “lanzallamas” is flamethrower.

  14. Llamas. nice. And the title? Really? Wow. Wow. I have nothing more to say. Wow. I lied. (laugh)

  15. Llama is Spanish not only for the spit-violent animal and a conjugate of llamar, to call, but also flame. Wonderful, isn’t it?
    I typed that once and I instantly thought, “This is so awesome it must title my blog.”

  16. If you’re at a party and someone introduces you, you can say, “Hi, I’m Sam and I am a Marine Predator.”

  17. I, at a party? Anything party with me would be a gathering of minds for a Scrabble challenge. I would forego the “hi” and probably my name and skip straight to the “I’m a marine predator and a Scrabble boss.”

    • Hahahahahaha I enjoy this reply 🙂 It made me laugh, the thought of you at a party refering to madeleine’s post XD

  18. You’ve never heard that set-up before? You know what… hm. Why do I bother? (laugh)

  19. You’re trying to assimilate me (something I learned in history class in action–wow).
    Cheyenne left a comment somewhere on this website. Scavenger hunt to see if you can find it!

  20. No. I was just using a common joke. I like you the way you are.

  21. As do I.

  22. AH. Didn’t take that long. I wish my little picture was blue. I like how you criticize everyone, and yet you expect them to comment. I also reread a lot of stuff I missed. I honestly didn’t realize that Gabby commented so much.

  23. Please don’t remind me…
    I think the blue is pretty too, but I like my Gravatar the way it is.

  24. I’ve tried changing mine a million times.

  25. You probably could if you had a WordPress account.

  26. Uh. I do. It’s mainly my computer.

  27. Ah, I see. Kick it a few times and then either hope it works or convince your parents your life quality would be significantly improved if you had a new computer.

  28. Until I read the last two words, I thought we were talking about The Communist. I’m sure the same is true.

  29. Except computers can’t give you rabies.

  30. Touché.

  31. I didn’t mean it THAT way… (laugh) I would never touch the great Sam Swain…

    • Why not, It’s fun to poke the GREAT! Sam Swain … his last name always makes me think of a white swan 🙂 Sam do you enjoy birds.. swans perhaps ??

  32. White swan? For the love of pistachios- where did this come from?!?!

  33. I love birds. I am totally as graceful as the white swan.

    You can’t touch this.

  34. Rail. Lair. Air L. Any other acronym for “Liar.”

  35. There you go again.


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