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Monthly Archives: June 2010

Today Mark and I played tennis in the street.  I’m even worse at street tennis than I am at street pong.  Oh, my sad life.


I just found the word “aeluropodous” in my dictionary, which means “having retractable claws in the feet.”  Undoubtedly, it’s pretty exciting.

I like the word “weltanschauung.”  It’s a real word.  I think it originated from German.  It’s pronounced velt-ahn-shou-ung.

The unicorn donned some cool goggles and hooked his skis to the boots on his feet.  He slid down the rainbow.  I emerged from beneath, carrying a message of utmost importance for the unicorn.  He collided into  me, and my stomach was thrust out of my throat.  It jumped off the edge of the rainbow and burned up in the atmosphere quite quickly (for the atmosphere on Venus is quite thick).  I slapped the arm emerging from his back, which seemed to satiate it, for the time being.  I told the unicorn, “Arise, pterodactyl of the night, and spread thy wings at daybreak to metamorphose into a cockroach of slime and filth and death and darkness and evil.   And so arose the creature, and from its mouth emerged a lizard, which exploded upon contact with the sunlight.  The unicorn’s eyes melted out of its skull, and it was blind until eternity ended and all hope became irrelevant to the hippopotamus in the rhinoceros pit of fire acorns.  And I wept at its punishment, a perilous journey to the center of the universe, where all the stars burn with the rage of those who were murdered without their consent.

Today my friend Mark wanted to play ping-pong, but as we descended the steps to my basement, we not only found the table folded up, but my brother and his fat little friend were playing in the middle of the place where the table would normally be.  Unable to play on the table in the basement, Mark and I headed outside for the street, each armed with a red paddle, and one ball between us.

After many unsuccessful hits across the street to each other and five too many close encounters with cars (it only happened twice, from the same car with some old lady in it), I accidentally stepped on the ball while trying to retrieve it.  So  I went inside, got the last ball, and we returned to our game.

We were finally getting as close to the hang of it as would be possible for anyone, taking into consideration the wind and our ping-pong experience.  Then we gave up, too exhausted to continue, right as we were at the height of our street pong careers.  It was fun while it lasted, however, and I’d do it again in a minute.  That’s my summer’s excitement at its fullest, there.

I believe that it is important to stay on top of one’s school work.  I am often guilty of procrastination, but I felt that my summer reading would be too overwhelming to do  in one week’s time.  Seeing my dad’s copy of The Jungle spurred me on the most, with its 35o pages of unrelenting tiny text.  Along with three other books, that’s a hefty amount of homework over the summer, and would be virtually impossible to conquer in two weeks.  So, being the greatest, most intelligent person who ever lived, I came to the decision that it would be rational to read a few chapters every day.  I’ve completed Fahrenheit 451, and am half-way through To Kill a Mockingbird, so I’d say I’m doing pretty well, with like eight weeks left of summer.  I’d recommend to all students with summer reading to get to it.  So get off my blog, you (hopefully) three people who read it, and finish those books!  I’m talking to you, Maxx.

My favorite color is grey.  It’s also spelled “gray.”  I switch between the two.  It adds variety to my otherwise dull life.  Hooray.